by Brent Kostyniuk
It has become fashionable to call funerals “Celebrations of Life.” The rationale for this seems to be a desire to enhance the memory of the deceased person and keep it fresh. In a subtle way, however, a Celebration of Life can be an attempt to deny reality. While we all want to remember loved ones who have passed, we also need to accept the fact they have left this earthly life.
All of us grieve in our own way. We cry, we despair, we struggle with thoughts of what might have been, we overindulge to ease to our pain, and we look back with sadness on times which will never be repeated. With grieving hearts, we are saying are saying a final goodbye – at least for a while.
Recently, I attended the funeral and burial of a very close relative. It was, of course, a very sad time. Funerals are. Yet it was also a spiritually uplifting time. In her wisdom, the Ukrainian Catholic Church (along with others which follow the Byzantine Tradition) not only provides us with an opportunity to mourn a deceased loved one, but also a chance to reflect on the love which God showers on all of us and of His desire to reward us with eternal life in heaven. In the funeral Divine Liturgy, there are numerous prayers which both help us to understand the mystery of death and comfort us.
During the Antiphons, there is the addition of the Small Litany for the Departed.
Priest: God of spirits and of all flesh, You trampled death, You made the devil powerless, and You gave life to Your world. Now, O Lord, to the soul of Your servant, N., who has fallen asleep, grant rest in a place of light, a place of verdure, and a place of tranquillity, from which pain, sorrow, and mourning have fled. As the good and loving God, forgive every sin of thought, word, or deed he has committed. There is no one who will live and will not sin, for You alone are sinless. Your justice is everlasting justice and Your word is truth. For You, O Christ our God, are the resurrection, the life, and the repose of Your servant, N., who has fallen asleep, and we give glory to You, together with Your eternal Father and Your most holy, good, and life-giving Spirit, now and for ever and ever.
All: Amen.
The Epistle reading at a funeral liturgy is often taken from St. Paul’s first letter to the Thessalonians. In the strongest, most direct words possible, the Apostle reminds us that earthly death is not the end of our existence.
Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him. According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so, we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words. (1 Thessalonians: 13-18)
When the service is concluded, all present are given the opportunity to pass by the open coffin and say a final goodbye. It is called the Final Kiss. This ritual can remind us of our own mortality. In A Christmas Carol, Scrooge was visited by three ghosts of Christmas. The one he feared most was that of Christmas-yet-to-come. He feared it because he had become aware of his true nature; one incompatible with heavenly reward. When we see the body of a loved one, do we fear death as Scrooge did, or do we see it as the step towards our heavenly reward? Are we sad for the deceased or do we pray and rejoice that they will now be with loved ones who have passed before? Ironically, that same ghost showed Scrooge a future image of Bob Cratchitfinding happiness after visiting the graveyard where Tiny Tim would be interred. “In his own little way, Martha, he was telling us that he is happy.”
Finally, the actual burial rite confirms there is no earthly return from death. Prayers are said, then (unlike many traditions) the casket is lowered into the ground as those present reverently form a circle around the grave. Nonetheless, the very last words the priest prays are the most comforting of all. “This grave is sealed until the end of time.”
Now that’s not so long, is it?
