by Brent Kostyniuk
It is often said we should save the best for the last. I look for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come. These words, which come at the end of the Nicene Creed, express the best, the greatest, belief we hold as Christians. They remind us that Jesus has conquered death by death and to those in the grave He granted life. Our greatest fear – death – has no hold over us. We live with the certainty that Jesus has, indeed, prepared a way for us and that a beautiful new world is awaiting.
However, the loss of a loved one does bring us sorrow. Although our faith instils in us the certainty of resurrection, it does not remove the need, the desire, to somehow connect with the one who has left us and do our part in praying for their eternal reward.
The answer, of course, is prayer. Christ Our Pascha, the catechism of the Ukrainian Greek Catholic Church, provides insight on how this is to be done.
519. At death, a person leaves this world and stands before God. For a worthy encounter with the Lord, the deceased needs the prayerful support of the living, as well as the intercession of the most holy Mother of God, their guardian angel, and of all the saints. That is why at the notification of death, the family and friends of the deceased gather around (in Greek, parastasis) to pray for him or her.
Even as we pray for departed loved ones, it is worthwhile to understand exactly why we do so. In his book, Orthodox Christian Beliefs, Stanley Harakas explains that the motivation for these prayers is based on our understanding of the nature of sin and forgiveness. Briefly, in Western theology, sins are forgiven through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. However, there remains a portion of those sins which must be paid for or worked off through good deeds. From this theology of temporal punishment comes the teaching regarding purgatory where, in some manner, souls atone for their sins. In the East, sin is not so much seen as a violation of divine law rather as a broken relationship with God. We mend this relationship by repenting wholeheartedly and calling upon God’s mercy for forgiveness. “If that repentance is genuine and sincere, then God forgives our sin,” explains Harakas. “All of it. There is nothing left for us to do, other than make restitution to someone we may have harmed, not as ‘punishment,’ but as an expression of our true repentance. When we repent of our sins, we are fully cleansed. No punishments are required or demanded.” Hence, the concept of purgatory does not exist in Eastern theology.
Then why do Eastern Christians pray for the dead? Once again, Stanley Harakas explains that we “…pray for the souls of the dead, imploring God to be merciful to them. It is not a question of guarantees or being punished or relieving punishment. It is an appeal to the love and compassion of God. We appeal to His kindness, compassion, and tender mercies for the departed. The rest is up to God.”
A beautiful expression of this appeal to God comes during the Panakhyda, or memorial service. Just prior to the dismissal, the priest prays that God will show tender mercy towards the departed:
God of spirits and of all flesh, You trampled Death, You made the devil powerless, and You gave life to Your world. Now, O Lord, to the soul of your servant who has fallen asleep, grant rest in a place of light, a place of verdure, and a place of tranquillity, from which pain, sorrow and mourning have fled. As the good and loving God, forgive every sin of thought, word or deed he/she has committed. There is no one who will live and will not sin, for You alone are sinless. Your justice is everlasting justice and Your word is truth.
This explains why the Eastern Christian prays for the dead. It does not convey the spirit in which those prayers might be said, or when the departed might be remembered. During Easter season annual visits are paid to the graves of departed relatives and friends. These visits take many different forms but are generally communal in nature. Very often, the local pastor will visit the cemetery and celebrate a Panakhyda. Following this, he will walk to each spot where people have gathered at the grave of a loved one. The grave is blessed with holy water, while all sing the Easter hymn. “Christ is risen from the dead, trampling Death by death, and bestowing life to those in the tombs.”
Blessing of the graves becomes a near festive event, particularly in rural or farm parishes. Here, people often travel great distances to take part in the services. It may be the one time during the year when they visit their “home” parish, that is, the one they knew as children before moving away to a different and perhaps better, life in a city or large town. A communal dinner is often prepared. Many families also maintain the tradition of bringing a picnic lunch to eat at the loved one’s grave. For some unknown reason, oranges always seem to feature prominently in these feasts.
Through prayer and celebration, we pray and beseech the Lord that our loved one’s memory will be eternal.
