by Brent Kostyniuk
It is said the most popular theme for songs is love. That is probably true. All You Need is Love, Crazy Little Thing Called Love, Bye Bye Love, and of course, Muskrat Love (go ahead, Google it!). The same goes for movies. What would Christmas be without watching Love Actually?
Love is central to our lives. I love my wife, I love my children, and I especially love nachos and salsa. I also love my daughter’s cat, but only sometimes. So, it seems love is a universal theme. Yet, what does the theme of a pop song have to do with our favourite food or even a domesticated animal?
The answer lies in the source of love. St. John tells us God is Love. Moreover, the Evangelist tells us that not only is God Love, He is the source of all love.
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
John 4:7-12
When we love, it is because we are able to reflect the love God has shared with us.
Types of Love
Although all love comes from God, it takes on many forms. St. John understood this. His Gospel was written in Greek, a language with eight separate words for love. Each of these words reveals a different aspect of love. By looking at the Greek words for love, we can more readily understand the complexity of love and the way it affects so much of our lives.
Agape is selfless universal love, such as the love for strangers, nature, or God. This love is unconditional, bigger than us, a boundless compassion, and an infinite empathy that you extended to everyone, whether they are family members or distant strangers.
Eros is named after the Greek god of fertility. Eros is passion, lust, pleasure, and romance. It is an intense form of love that arouses romantic and sexual feelings.
Philia describes friendship and affection. Plato believed physical attraction was not a necessary part of love, hence the use of the word platonic to mean, “without physical attraction.”
Storge is a natural form of affection experienced between family members. It is the protective love shared between parents and their children. Storge can also describe a sense of patriotism.
Mania is a perversion of love when it becomes obsessive. Stalking, extreme jealousy, and violence are all symptoms of Mania.
Ludus is a playful form of love. Most commonly it is the affection between young lovers, having a crush on someone.
Pragma is love built on commitment and understanding. Pragma is a mature love, willing to make compromises, while showing patience and tolerance. It is the stem of the word “pragmatic” meaning a concern for practical matters.
Philautia is a beneficial self-love, the opposite of narcissism which is a personality disorder characterized by self-preoccupation. The ancient Greeks believed that if we are to care for others, we must first learn to care for ourselves. Aristotle said, “All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man’s feelings for himself.”
Getting and Giving
Love is a one-way street originating with the love God gives us. In turn, as we receive it, we can give it back to Him and to others. You can’t force someone to love you—someone gives and someone accepts. However, in recent times, quarantines and other health measures have made many people feel isolated and even unloved.
St. John Paul II said the Church should breathe through both lungs—East and West. His message also implies we should come to know each other and grow to share God’s love with each other. In so many ways, the turmoil facing the world today makes that all the more important. In the Ukrainian Catholic Church, there are many opportunities and organizations we can join to help us foster and share love. Our local parish community is a good place to start … whatever form of love we reflect.
